Teh interwebs ‘r fun!

This guy‘s amazing. Seriously.
Everything started back when he left a review of ImageTweak on AMO, where he “reported” a never-heard-of-before bug:

First, the good =) 1) Customizable image view background color 2) Can move image W/arrow & mouse Now, the bad =( 1) Always snaps back 2 original image size whenever U relocate the image – so retarded (but there is a workaround – install ‘Page Zoom’ & use that 2 resize the image instead of this retarded ‘ImageTweak’ plugin 2 do so =) 2) Insane upside-down scrolling defaults. Oh yes, when I push the up arrow I want the image 2 move DOWN?!?! WTF?!?! Get a grip man – wow So, fix those 2 things & it’ll B kewl. I also have ‘Image Zoom’ installed, but it doesn’t override your crap snap-back nonsense.

I answered its review on AMO asking for details, but somehow he never replied. After a few days, I managed to find its mail address within another AMO review, so I contacted him:

Date: Fri, 13 Mar 2009 08:40:53 +0100
From: Carlo Alberto Ferraris
To: Peter’s Bx
Subject: ImageTweak reviews

Now, the bad =(
1) Always snaps back 2 original image size whenever U relocate the image – so retarded (but there is a workaround – install ‘Page Zoom’ & use that 2 resize the image instead of this retarded ‘ImageTweak’ plugin 2 do so =)

*Please*, be more detailed when reporting a bug! I’ve never seen or heard of anyone complaining about something like this. Unless I can reproduce it, I can’t fix it – I hope you understand this.

2) Insane upside-down scrolling defaults. Oh yes, when I push the up arrow I want the image 2 move DOWN?!?! WTF?!?! Get a grip man – wow

First, RTFM. Second, try viewing a very long image that fills your screen completely and hit the down key – would it make any sense if the image scrolled in the opposite direction.

So, fix those 2 things & it’ll B kewl.

I also have ‘Image Zoom’ installed, but it doesn’t override your crap snap-back nonsense.

Before calling something “crap” and insulting someone, you should really stop and think about that carefully.
This addon has been around for almost two years now, had a great number of releases, every aspect of it has been discussed and reviewed extensively and is currently in use by more that half a million people worldwide – and yet you seem to think that a macroscopic misbehaving like the one you’re reporting hasn’t been noticed by anyone… in short: I doubt it. In the best case scenario, your bug will probably be due to another extension, or to the interactions between the two. So *please* be more specific.
Best regards,
Carlo Alberto Ferraris (CAFxX)

This is what I received in reply:

Subject: RE: ImageTweak reviews
Date: Fri, 13 Mar 2009 15:17:23 +0000
From: Peter’s Bx
To: Carlo Alberto Ferraris

Stopped reading @ ‘please B more detailed’. I was EXTREMELY detailed. Go on with your retarded ‘kill-the-messenger’ crap. Everything I say is true & U know it.

bye

“EXTREMELY detailed”, huh? Nevermind – I told myself – maybe he’s just (wrongly) thinking that I’m fucking with him… if I tell him calmly and plainly that I am serious and that I need his help to fix the bug everything will be fine:

Subject: Re: ImageTweak reviews
Date: Fri, 13 Mar 2009 19:11:29 +0100
From: Carlo Alberto Ferraris
To: Peter’s Bx

I’m telling you for real that I can’t reproduce it. Everything you said is “Always snaps back 2 original image size whenever U relocate the image” and, from my humble point of view, that is far from “detailed”.
As I already said, there’s a huge number of people using this addon daily and no-one ever reported something like that. Plenty of other bugs were reported (and most were fixed) but no-one ever reported yours so I really don’t know how to fix it. Can you provide me a screen recording of what you’re experiencing? Or anything else that can help me understand what’s wrong? I hope you understand that if I didn’t care about what my users think of ImageTweak, I wouldn’t even bother writing you. But here I am, so please be more detailed.

And this is where I decided I’d stop replying:

Subject: I’ll spoon feed U =) RE: ImageTweak reviews
Date: Sat, 14 Mar 2009 04:36:51 +0000
From: Peter’s Bx
To: Carlo Alberto Ferraris

IDIOT!!

1) Images should retain their zoomed sizes when moved, not keep snapping back 2 the original size.

Note: If your brain cannot hold more than 3 things, please do not read N E more… I use ‘Page Zoom’ add-on as a patch 4 this, but it’s an overcomplicated solution.

2) The arrow keys should move the image in the direction they point, not the opposite.

2) The mouse wheel should move the image in the direction it is pushed.

NOTE: In case U R really a drooling idiot, this means:
Up arrow = move image up
Down arrow = move image down (DUUH!! OMG is this really that hard 4 U 2 grasp?)
Right arrow = move image right
Left arrow = move image left
Mouse wheel up = move image up (oh yeah, we love it in REVERSE! NOT!!)
Mouse wheel down = move image down (OMG where the fuk did U leave your brain? SO OBVIOUS!!)

Yes I know points 2 & 3 can B changed in the program settings check boxes, but the functionality I described is intuitive & should B the DEFAULT.

Now go on with your insane ‘kill-the-messenger’ & ‘bandwagon fallacy’ bullshit. Just because ‘nobody else complains’ doesn’t mean this isn’t a problem. U sound like some clown from Micro$oft talking about how it’s ‘acceptable’ for the operating system to hang like a snail when moving files in Vista or whatever – meanwhile Windows ’95 (the one before Internet Explorer came out) moves files INSTANTLY and FOREVER without locking up. Yes, I’ve been selling multi-terabyte servers running on 16 bit Win ’95 & they outperform BSD, Linux, & other alternatives. I even offered to send 1 2 Micro$cam 4 analysis, but they weren’t interested.

Seems U R caught in some kind of fantasy where U should include insane backward functionality instead of simple, intuitive OBVIOUS UI features like FUKING RETAINING THE ZOOM WHEN MOVING AN IMAGE!!! omfg!

Subject: This isn’t a debate U brain-dead clown – I just delete your excuses
Date: Sat, 14 Mar 2009 04:42:14 +0000
From: Peter’s Bx
To: Carlo Alberto Ferraris

I don’t read your responses. This is not a ‘conversation’ or a ‘debate’ where U can sit on your ass and ‘talk’ your way into making the program better.

It’s broken. Fix it, or don’t. Talk is cheap.

I don’t open your retarded responses. I delete them without opening.

Fix your program instead of mailing me EXCUSES!!

Apparently, though, trolls never die – and therefore, a few weeks later:

Subject: New tweak 4 Image Tweak addon =)
Date: Thu, 2 Apr 2009 10:13:49 +0000
From: Peter’s Bx
To: Carlo Alberto Ferraris

Yea’ OK well I read some ‘responses’ from the author here. “I know that the “mouse integration” may feel awkward, but ctrl+mouse wheel is the *default* zooming mechanism of Firefox (try it on any webpage).” bla bla – well it SHOULDN’T B the default. It should B somethin’ like right click + scroll (& scroll by itself is the page control). I got news 4 U programmer fukwits out there. NOBODY WANTS 2 READ A MANUAL. Oh sure, we could spend our lives like U filling our heads with pointless arbitrary rules & codes, but no thanx. We have sh*t 2 do! We (the public – the ‘cattle’) like things that work INTUITIVELY! That is, 4 1, Y Linux & it’s variants will NEVER catch on, EVER!… because it’s just a big geek-off circle jerk of who can overcomplicate things the most. Oh yes, instead of a multiple-choice GRAPHICAL MENU I want 2 have a mystery command line I need a computer science degree 2 use, & a zillion secret code words – give me a fukin’ break! What idiots!

Fix the BUGS in the thing. Screen fill does NOT funciton – all I wanted was somethin’ 2 center images & make ’em fit the window size (in full screen mode as well as regular). Is that so much 2 ask? I guess so! Just somethin’ 2 save me from havin’ 2 open the image thumbnailer program (Thumbs Plus – the older pre-unicode versions R best). Yea’ I’ve tried Picasa & other freewares & they suk azz.

Here’s a plan:
wheel = zoom in or out.
mouse wheel+right click = move image vertically.
left click+wheel = move image horizontally.

& make it so the goddamn ‘fit page’ function workx. It’s ridiculous havin’ 2 re-zoom every time I drop somethin’ in the window… Yeesh. Make it automatically fit – like the check box says! =D

Apparently, ignoring him won’t work – so let’s simply have some fun! I also just discovered that he left other two reviews (and that brings his number of ImageTweak reviews to 5 – so much for the “We have sh*t 2 do”! BTW, you can read them all here)

Subject: Re: New tweak 4 Image Tweak addon =)
Date: Thu, 02 Apr 2009 18:47:02 +0200
From: Carlo Alberto Ferraris
To: Peter’s Bx

If you’re going to rephrase this in proper english – with proper capitalization and punctuation – and without calling me names, I will surely read it. Please consider that I don’t owe you nothing, as you implicitely agreed by using ImageTweak (the code is GPL-licensed – read the license for the details).

Best regards,
Carlo Alberto Ferraris

Predictably:

Subject: RE: New tweak 4 Image Tweak addon =)
Date: Thu, 2 Apr 2009 19:36:53 +0000
From: Peter’s Bx
To: Carlo Alberto Ferraris

You’re such a fucking clown – so obvious your transparent little lazy-ass ploy 2 blame the messenger 4 your program’s problems. I am not the problem. The bugs in yer’ proggy’ R the issue, & U should fix ’em. It’s not surprising @ all U R a spic. Your retardation is what keeps your race @ the bottom.

U sound like 1 of those Linux fags – with their ‘the user is the problem’, instead of taking responsibility 4 their code, & making the shit USABLE!

Oh yea’, I we want a program that does not retain it’s zoom but snaps back 2 small all the time without warning. We want something that forces us 2 resize every fucking image instead of simply saving the ‘fit to screen’ setting LIKE YOUR FUCKING LITTLE CHECK BOX CLAIMS TO DO!

You’re such a goddamn idiot, it’s a wonder U can figure out how 2 wipe your own ass – seriously. Now there U go – lots of excuses 4 U now 2 ignore the flaws in your program & blame the ‘cruel crude user community’ for your BAD PROGRAMMING!

Get a clue, loser

From now on I will repeat the same thing over and over, let’s see if he gets it… BTW, I traced his IP and found out that he is somewhere between San Francisco and Los Angeles (Atascadero? San Luis Obispo?) – and judging from his writing style he must be like 14-15. In Italy someone that writes like him is called “bimbominkia” – and no, that’s not a compliment.

Subject: Re: New tweak 4 Image Tweak addon =)
Date: Thu, 02 Apr 2009 21:38:38 +0200
From: Carlo Alberto Ferraris
To: Peter’s Bx

If you’re going to rephrase this in proper english – with proper capitalization and punctuation – and without calling me names, I will surely read it. Please consider that I don’t owe you nothing, as you implicitely agreed by using ImageTweak (the code is GPL-licensed – read the license for the details).

Best regards,
Carlo Alberto Ferraris

Afterward, I went on AMO and flagged his latest review of ImageTweak for inappropriate language. Let’s see how he reacts…

Update 1
Guess what? I honestly can’t believe that he is really thinking what he’s writing…

Subject: “Woo lookie me I’m the spic who pretends not 2 understand English, ‘cuz I’m 2 fukin’ lazy 2 fix my program”
Date: Sat, 4 Apr 2009 02:18:07 +0000
From: Peter’s Bx
To: Carlo Alberto Ferraris

Stupid, transparent jackass

“Your car has a flat tire”…

You: “What do you mean? Could U please explain how it is flat? I don’t understand. Nobody else complains that it is flat, therefore it must B inflated & perfect… Thank U as I drive on my perfectly broken unsafe tire – goodbye =) Hey, where did I leave my burrito?”

ROFL~!

U monkey boi

Standard reply followed…

Update 2
While I was posting this I re-read one of his mails and realized that he said that ImageTweak was so crap that even using another extension (ImageZoom) wouldn’t do any better.
At the time I excluded the possibility of him being so retarded to the point of using both extensions (doing almost the same thing) together. I should have known better.
So I tried to install also Image Zoom and while they work almost perfectly together, if you use the Image Zoom context menu to zoom the image, it will “snap back 2” the previous position. As I said in one of my first mails, it’s a conflict between extensions (that are not meant to work together).

Subject: Found the problem: it’s you
Date: Sat, 04 Apr 2009 09:29:29 +0200
From: Carlo Alberto Ferraris
To: Peter’s Bx

You know what? I was right, and you were wrong.
The problem lies in the fact that you installed both ImageTweak and Image Zoom, and that you use the Image Zoom context menu to change the image size when it is displayed by ImageTweak.
This is not a bug in one extension or in the other, it’s just that the two extensions shouldn’t be used together and I never received any complaint about this bug because out of 300k daily users, apparently you’re the only genius using both extensions.
When I asked you to help me find the bug, it was exactly because I can’t test the compability of all 6000+ extensions hosted on AMO with mine. But, evidently, I was asking way too much (you aren’t even able to properly write in your native language, after all!).
Right now your choices are:

* Uninstall ImageTweak and go with Image Zoom (or the contrary, but somehow I doubt you’ll ever do it)
* Read the f**king manual to learn how to disable the ImageTweak zoom and use only Image Zoom to zoom.
* Write patches for ImageTweak and Image Zoom to make them mutually exclusive or to allow them to cooperate (unrealistic, isn’t it?)

And now, a few other things:

* This whole discussion has been posted on my blog.
* You should really learn how to write in proper English
* As a rule of thumb, you shouldn’t insult someone when you’re asking for favors.
* You should learn what an auto-responder is.
* You should get a life. Seriously. At your age, you should get out with your friends, not spending your time in your room doing pointless things (apparently, even if you say you have better things to do, you managed to write quite a number of reviews…)

Best regards,
Carlo Alberto Ferraris

Since this mail, I received other 3 mails saying the same things he already wrote in his previous mails. I set up an auto-responder, but apparently he doesn’t know what an auto-repsonder is. This is not even funny anymore…

That’s all folks!

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